We had waited so long to get engaged and there was such a build up of anticipation; it was like finally being able to pop a bottle of the best champagne in the world and let all the happiness and hopes for the future together finally erupt. On the night he proposed I turned around to the sight of him holding out a ring, my breath caught in my chest as I watched him get down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I said 'yes!' to a future with this person who I loved so much, who felt like home. It was the best feeling in the world - I was going to get to spend the rest of my life with you. The best adventure in the world just laying ahead of us; ours for the taking.
For a week and a half we celebrated, we were over the moon excited. You went around telling everyone "I can't believe she said 'yes'. I do not deserve her". For a week and a half we were perfect in the eyes of each other, we couldn't wait to tell people the news - that we were engaged!
We went to brunch with my parents to celebrate, where they told you they were excited to have you as part of the family and cheered to the future ahead. We went over to your parents house to celebrate with them later that day; where of course, your mother informed me that she had already seen the engagement ring and that if it were any bigger it would be too big, and that it was really almost too big as it was (if out of curiosity you would like to view the ring... my ex fiancé sold it to a jeweler who currently has it for sale on eBay... I don't think he even waited two weeks to get rid of it...). We were floating on clouds so high that that visit with your parents didn't even bring us down a centimeter.
We went to dinner a few nights before you were supposed to go out of town. We talked about the wedding; we decided that we would get married at the chapel in Seaside, FL and have a black tie in-town wedding reception a month or so after we were married. You were ecstatic about how easy it was to make the decision. Then came time for the trip to Highlands, NC with you parents...
What was said on that trip to have you come back with such a different demeanor? I really do believe so many of the answers to all the 'whys' I have lay in this trip...
When you came back from Highlands, you wanted your dad to be your best man, your sister to be a reader, and you wanted to have a casual in-town reception so people could wear blue jeans... how many times have you ever seen me wear blue jeans? I was perfectly agreeable to your dad and sister being in the wedding, but did you take into concentration how hard it would have been for me to walk down an isle with your dad standing beside you after all the hurtful comments your family had made to me over the years?
You came back from your trip acting as your parent's guard dog; you were protecting people who didn't need protection. You wouldn't buy my sister and her new husband a wedding gift, (claiming you a had a year to get them a gift), you refused to wish my sister happy birthday, you refused to return my dad's call even after I told you he had called and left you a message. You didn't do these things, because you were "drawing lines" you were "setting boundaries". All the sudden you wanted nothing to do with my family. You were setting boundaries with the wrong people. Even if my family did require lines of boundaries to be drawn, it was my place to do that, not yours.
You came back with the attitude that marriage is a burden, that most women are awful people, paranoid about my family's involvement in our marriage, and overly critical of me.
What was said in Highlands, NC to make you come back with such a different attitude? My parent's aren't involved in my sister's marriage and they weren't involved in our relationship - why would they be overly involved in our marriage? Why was marriage all the sudden a burden instead of this exciting new adventure? And why was everything I did all the sudden wrong?
That trip was the beginning of the end. Oh how I bet your mother hated it when you told them "I can't believe she said 'yes'. I don't deserve her" - I never heard you utter those words again after that trip. Instead I heard about everything that I'm not and you became paranoid about things you really had no reason to be worried about.
Game, set, match; congratulations, Mary, you finally won. After years of taking digs at me, saying things in an attempt to run me off, and messaging me and telling me in person that your son's spirit was broken by a previous relationship and that you just didn't know if he could ever get over such a "soul crushing experience", and clamming the only remedy for him to mend was to just spend time with his family so he could 'heal'. Well, congratulations, you finally won; you even gloated about it on facebook the night he told you the engagement had been broken off, posting: "02.02.2020. Backwards and forwards, it has been an awesome day of fresh starts! Woohoo! This is going to be a great year!"
A wedge was driven between us after that trip. We stopped working as team and started working against each other. After finding out about the blue jean in-town reception I no longer wanted a destination wedding, I wanted it all to be in town. The wedding became an issue. You became an issue. My family became an issue, I became an issue, everything that had once been so exciting became an issue.
I hope you enjoy your victory knowing that you played a part in taking something away from your son that at one point in time made him so happy. If I saw you out in public I wouldn't know weather to thank you for going ahead and bring out that side of your son that probably would have come out eventually, confront you about a few issues, or simply ignore you.
I hope you enjoy having your 'golden boy' all to yourself, knowing that in some capacity (as small as it might be) you played a role in the demise of a relationship, that for so long provided two people with so much happiness.
I once had someone tell me "He's like the prodigal son, no one has ever been good enough for him or his family". In response to the broken engagement and what people know of it, I have sense had others tell me that it sounds like you were jealous and/or threatened by me. Maybe that's true, but knowing you on the personal level I do, I just think you are an insecure person, who allowed life to make you bitter, who resents people that you view as having things too 'easy', and wishes ill of the kind and optimistic, for the simple fact that they have something you lack - a heart that has not been allowed to turn hard and the ability to allow themselves to experience true happiness and joy.Follow my blog with Bloglovin